Tao of Té - 38 Things Installment 2
I'm back my honey bears with 10 more ideas I have learned
over the past 38 years. Yesterday was a phooey kind of day but I bounced back.
Now something I want to clarify is that these are my ideas. They might not be
even remotely on your list but I do recommend making a list. In fact I'm a huge
fan of any list. I have notebooks filled with lists for every single occasion I
can possibly make a list for. So without further ado…here are ten more wistful
observations.
11) Change is a part of life. Roll with the punches
Man
life can be a gigantic dick. It can screw you over big time. Change is
something that comes though and it is one of the hardest things I have ever
learned to cope with. I'm a "box" kinda gal. I put people into rigid
roles because I like order. And I used to have a very hard time changing those
parameters. It has caused me great distress in the past. Don't let it be a
burden to you. Be flexible and embrace change.
12) Like attracts Like
You
only get out of life what you put into it. You want happy people around you…then
be happy. Pretty simple. Now all people get down sometimes and that is okay.
Cry, wail and gnash your teeth. You deserve every emotion you want to have. My
only exception would be hate. Hate is a worthless emotion and you, and myself,
are better than that.
13) Love with reservations.
The
heart is amazing in its ability to love. As long as you keep loving, it keep
growing. You'll get hurt. You will hurt someone else. But take it on the chin
and don’t make the rest of humanity pay for a momentary mistake. I promise that
you will love again. I don't know when. I'm not really adept at predicting the
future. I just know that love can be found in the most unlikely of places and
it doesn't have to be romantic. So keep that heart open. Pain will happen
regardless. Love makes it worth it.
14) Find your theme song for life
I have
this incredible connection to music that came from my parents. I often remember
memories based on songs. Find your theme song and change that playlist often.
Music is the melody to which our soul dances.
15) It is OK to not know the answers.
I'm
turning 38 and while I have accumulated a wealth of information in my life, I
often say "I don't know." You can bullshit an answer left and right.
You may get it right. But if you don’t know the answer it is okay to admit it.
And this applies to the direction of your life as well. So what if you don't
have a 5 or 10 year plan. Let it come when it comes.
16) Say what you mean.
Games
come in boxes. Leave them there. Don't say "Yes" to something that
you intensely want to say, "No" to. I've done it so many times in my
life. I caved and did something I didn't want to do. I would rather someone
tell me a firm "No" then a hedged "maybe" or a lie of
"Yes" it just doesn't do the soul justice. People aren't mind readers
regardless of what someone claims. I don't get implied meanings or statements.
If you tell me everything is alright then I take it as that after I've asked 3
times. After the 3 times you forgo any right to bitch later.
17) Disliking or Hating Another
Just
don't. Even if it is an Ex that has done you horribly wrong. Anger is like
throwing a hot stone. You get burned first. You disliking someone, or even
hating them, accomplishes absolutely nothing. Even pretending to concentrate
really hard to explode their minds does nothing but make you feel a tiny bit
vindicated. Hating someone is a waste of time and productivity. Now don't get
me wrong. If a certain person popped back in my life and said something to me….it
would be on but that's because she is the epitome of evil. See…I almost wrecked
myself. My saying that did nothing to her. It doesn't faze anyone to hate them.
18) Your friends are a reflection of yourself
This is
one of those "like attracts like" things but I wanted to make it
again. If I am a reflection of my friends…I'm pretty fucking lucky and I'm
pretty damn talented, smart and beautiful. From my most recent friends to my
oldest friends. Through my friends I am invincible.
19) Cultivate your relationships
You
only get as much out of a relationship as you put into it. This applies to your
romantic partner as well as your friends. Lately I haven't been such a great
cultivator because I'm a self-absorbed asshole and I've just been in a funk.
Luckily I have fantastic friends that understand and just let me alone. I do
try to keep them in my thoughts and have a list to start checking off starting
with checking in and seeing how everyone else is doing. The point is that you
have to work at friendships and relationships constantly. It is your garden of
life. Now don't be a hoe! Ha!
20) Anger towards a friend or loved one
You
have to options here: tell them or get over it. It is that simple. If your
friend/loved one pisses you off enough that you think you need to air it out in
order to get over it…then air it out. Don't make some passive aggressive
bullshit post that leaves everyone wondering and asking what is going on. You
can employ tagging. You can employ text messaging . You can do a face to face
over coffee or you can call. My sister and I used to do this famously. We would
bottle up every bitchy thing until it finally exploded into this mess that
nothing got resolved. Then we would be pissed at each other for weeks, or even
months. It even got as bad as not talking to each other for a long time and
then only civilly. I don't do this anymore because it is pointless. If I find
myself mad at a person constantly then I need to reevaluate their position in
my life. I'm not saying go through and toss everyone that makes you mad. I am
saying that you don't need to be a pansy and just sit back and let it stack up.
Say something. BUT…say it diplomatically for those that have a temper. I know I
can tell my best friend anything. Now she has a hellacious temper but if I
explain myself she usually only gets mad at me for a few hours vs days/weeks.
I'm the same way. If I piss you off then simply tell me. It might simply be a
miscommunication.
So there you go. 10 additional ideas to keep in mind. Stay
tuned for our next thrilling installment tomorrow!
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