Full Circle

I've been struck with ennui lately. (Ha Grammar Nazi's...there's your $3.00 word!) This complete lassitude has been in regards to life in general. I realized there was more to it than just my complete disinterest in the world and I finally pegged exactly what it was that was wrong. My best friend has deserted me. Okay...no not really. She's my best super friend forever and would never ditch me but she has been busy with her life and I don't begrudge her one freaking iota of her happiness. But it does allow me to say a huge "HA MOTHERFUCKING HA HA HA!!" to her and this I will happily do. Allow me to elaborate.

As BFF extraordinaire we are gifted with responsibilities and virtues. The first responsibility is to always blame any testicles for problems. I don't care how badly I've fucked up...Kat will blame Dave. Even if we both know that I'm the one to blame she will take my side and that is as it should be. The same goes for taking sides. The girl has my back. The only exceptions to the Ultimate BFF is if one is doing something irrevocably harmful. Then the BFF is obligated to swoop in, smack the back of the head and straighten the shit out.

Now allow me to elaborate on what has been happening and why I'm cackling maniacally with glee. I've known Kat for roughly 8 years of thick, thin, hell and high water. She's been with me through numerous bad dates and failed marriages. I've been with her through the birth of a complete cutie and her divorce and her move. She's been with me for my move as well.

But now...oh now we are entering into territory I've been waiting YEARS for. My dearest BFF is in love. And this is not your run of the mill love. This is OIL love. Yep readers...that is Once in a Lifetime Love. When we first met she told me of her past relationship with Mr. X before her husband. And then when she divorced she told me of their rekindled friendship. I just lifted an eyebrow and kept my musings to myself. I would wait this hand out patiently.

Now their relationship is far from easy and there are a lot of rocky times but...this is what I've been waiting for. When I went batshit insane about Dave and constantly talked about him to Kat...I know she had to want to roll her eyes and gag over the mushy crap. I know I bugged the shit out of her with my talk of true love and all that emotional oohh la la. I know I faded out of existence for a while when he was around because he took up most of my energy and she patiently waited me out. She has always been there to listen to me. When he fucked up...she was right there telling me what an ass he was. When I fucked up...she was right there telling me what an ass he was. That is what a TRUE best friend does.

So now for her OIL that I've been patiently awaiting. I knew, despite her protests, that she'd get into a relationship again one day. I knew I just had to be patient because her happiness was right around the corner. She couldn't see it at the time but I knew that eventually the OIL would happen. And it did.

I'm so happy for my BFF that I have grinned all day. I can now be the BFF that tells her what a screw up he is when he makes her angry or sad (all while thinking in my head that it's probably an overreaction...because I know she's thought the same thing but we both will never say it!). I get to make gagging motions to my husband because of all the syrupy sweet things they do. All while giving him the stink eye because he doesn't have a romantic bone in his body.

I cannot WAIT till those two fuckers get married because I get to see my best friend in the entire world finally have a marriage that she's been waiting for. And I'll pull him aside and give him the "talk" about what happens if he ever hurts her and the "talk" about how to handle her the best.

Do I want to tell her to go slow and take it easy? Hell fuck no! Girl...run to that happiness and soak up every single moment of it that you can. You deserve it! Let him rock your world and make the sky turn nine shades of red! Life is about seizing every single moment that you can and BEING in that moment.

And don't for one minute think you are being a bad friend by not listening to my day because you've been there enough for me and this is your time to shine. I don't feel pushed out...I feel warm and fuzzy and happy that you have your OIL!

So readers...take this message from this posting to heart. Never lament when a friend moves on with her life. Instead celebrate it and know that the BFF position changes constantly. One moment you are the one threatening to cut off cahones and the next...you are grinning because you can spot the arguments a mile away and know that your BFF has so much in store.

Mamacita I love you!! Now get married so I can come back to the South and visit!!!