What Women REALLY Need to Know About Life and Relationships

I'll confess to that I've been married 4 times. While that may not seem like a terribly big number...it is a number that frightens me and plenty of others. Everyone knows that 3rd times the charm but it seems that I moved past that charmed event and went into marriage number 4.

I love my husband dearly. I truly do and whats more important...I like him. That is saying quite a bit and I don't think he appreciates it or sees the sincerity when I make that claim. It is truly saying something. Far too often we find ourselves in situations where we love someone but we truly do not like them. We wouldn't voluntarily "hang" with them or be associated with them if there wasn't love in place. Strange thing but if you think about it for a while it will make sense.

Marriage, and well any relationship, is tough work. There are things that can make it even tougher. Little pitfalls that you take for granted when single can become a landmine in a relationship. You may be having a tough week or two with work, quitting smoking, or just life and your partner takes the brunt of it all. It is easy to think that we are not the wrong-doers but rather the victims of a bitchy spouse or significant other. Even something as simple as confiding in a parent or best friend can wreck untold havoc and devastation on a relationship.

Something like text messaging or calling an ex can be epic. The principle behind it may be innocent. The messages may be innocent but it really can be that trip wire that leads to insecurity, fighting, jealousy and more. It's a hazardous course. But I had a lot of time to think while driving and there are some things I have learned that I will willingly pass on to you, my friends. These are your tips and informative blurbs that you truly need to know about life and relationships.

• No matter where you go, what you do or how close you are in your relationship: have outside interests. Every woman should have something that is hers alone. Maybe it is time walking the neighborhood. It could be Tae Kwon Do or a Creme Brulee fro-yo once a week. It does not matter. But it does need to be yours alone. Don't do it with a friend. Don't do it with your significant other. Do it by yourself.
• Have 1 friend of the opposite sex that does not have a single sexual interest in you and is not afraid to tell you that you are a moron at times. Don't discuss the bad details of a fight that happened between you and your s.o. but do occasionally ask this person if you are guilty of being a douche bag and/or a bitch.
• Always have 1 friend that takes your side no matter what. Even when I'm a douch bag and a bitch my best friend Kat always takes my side. I know there are times when she rolls her eyes and wonders where my head is but she loves me for me. She would drive 3000 miles in a second just to comfort me or come get me if I needed her. Every woman needs a friend like that in her life.
• At least one time in your life take a chance. Move to another state or country far from anyone you know and just take a chance. You may fail and move back home. You may succeed but unless you take that chance you will never know if you are really your own person. Staying in the same small town or even big city your entire life is no way to live. It never hurts to just go for the sake of going.
• When relationships have you down and you are ready to give up on the human race entirely...make a list of all the douche bags you know. Every bad date. Every bad encounter. Every horrible sexcapade. Write those bitches down and you will quickly be reminded that life isn't that bad. Your husband or boyfriend really isn't horrible or hey...he may be and he may wind up on the list.
• Never do something just because you felt you were obligated. If you don't want kids...don't have them. If you don't want to get married...don't get married. If you don't want to have sex...don't have sex. But at the same time as you are making up your mind to say "no" also consider why the other person is asking you to do it. Sometimes when we slow down and think about things...we become more open to it.
• Take each day as such...it is just a day. We all have good days and we all have bad days. The trick is to even them out. If the bad outweigh the good and there is nothing you can do about them then you need to walk away from the situation. If it all balances out in the end it is called life and we each have one.

So there ya go. Just some rambling thoughts. It is some things I've learned over the course of my life. Every woman knows that she should own a drill and know how to get an estimate on her car without getting taken but sometimes it is the little things that escape us. Relationships are hard fucking work. I'd rather deal with a zombie gnawing my arm than to have a fight with Dave but fights do happen. Feelings get hurt and I realized sometimes that is a great thing. A relationship that does not hurt is not a relationship at all. Only when you truly love and like someone do you give them the ability to hurt you.

Namaste my friends.

Why Freelance Writing Can Suck!

I have to warn you in advance that this is going to be a whining, wailing, gnashing of teeth type of post. I'm bummed out and discouraged right now. Why? I wrote an article for a client and turned it in with the note that it was a very rough draft due to the fact that the instructions were vague and I did not have a clear idea on what the client wanted to accomplish. Today I checked and the client rejected it citing a LOOONG list of reasons ranging from grammar to the fact that it was a fluff piece.

HELLO! I tried getting in touch with the client to get guidance. Okay so the topic was crapola. 5 reasons why dental sealants work? I researched for several hours and found 3 vague reasons. Now to be fair this client has already rejected 8 other writers so I'm not terribly surprised. I've found that clients with a high rejection rate tend to keep that trend going and can always cite reasons. The most humorous rejection reason is: overall tone. You have got to be kidding me. I do like when the client try to defend their reason on rejection. It's always the same: you, as a writer, suck and they know more and are far more talented. They may not be able to write clear instructions but it is obvious, at least to them, that they are far superior. This is especially true considering they were going to pay you the whopping rate of 1.4 cents per word. Bask in that lost 2.40! Yeah!

Okay I'm done whining about that but I does make me think about why I write. It obviously is not for accolades. It is hard work being a freelance writer. You often have long days trying to get an average hourly rate that is laughable to most. You take constant knocks. If you are not getting slammed by a client, rejected by a client or cheated by a client....you are facing scrutiny from family and friends. My husband says he understands that this is a real job but he always follows it up with a comment about the pay.

The simple fact is that writing, anything, takes dedication and a very thick skin. The critics are many and always have a vicious tongue ready to slash your work apart. Rejections happen frequently and sometimes for no real reason. The worst part is that the overall experience makes you feel less than you are. You feel like a talentless hack trying to imitate a writer. A good day can go to pot very quickly and you learn to dread Mondays with a fervent passion that borders on maniacal.

Freelance writing, or writing in general, is comparable to dealing with your bipolar, schizophrenic aunt who lives in a one bedroom apartment with thousands of hairless rats. She has plenty of time to bring you down while pointing out how great her life is when compared to yours.

But there are times when good clients make you feel great. They applaud your work and the dedication it takes to meet deadlines. Friends compliment you on writing. Family finally realizes that you are making a contribution other than laundry and cooking. That you have a meaningful job. Those days are golden for a writer. That realization that maybe you aren't as bad as you think.  You've managed to brush your teeth, take a shower and write a pretty nice article.