Respect
Hello there kats and kittens it is me, your brave and
fearless leader back to let you know that I am alive and well. Well and alive.
The birthday month has been progressing quite nicely…okay…so not as nicely as I
wished but you can’t have it all.
Today’s topic is Respect. It is one you should know all
about if you are above the collective age of 18. I tend to not concentrate much
time beneath that age simply due to the fact that it isn’t a very common trait
to possess. As you age, you should wear respect like a badge of honor every single
day. First the deodorant goes on and then you layer on the respect.
Simple.
But wait…you knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, now didn’t
you? Respect is a tricky little beast. You give respect but do you get it in
return?
My parents, especially my father, really impressed upon me,
and my sisters, the fundamental right of respect being given to elders. I still
keep that mantra close to my heart. I am not the type of person who insists
that respect be earned first. That is simply not how it is done. Nothing pisses
me off more than to hear some worthless curmudgeon and slattern insist that:
You want my respect…gotta earn it. And I cannot even go into the depths of
irritation when I see a teenager actively disrespecting others.
Forget that jazz. That is NOT how it goes. It works on the
same premise as a smile. Don’t see a smile on someone else’s face? Then give
them yours.
See how easy that was. Yep easy as pie.
But wait… it really doesn’t end there. No, for the bargain
price of a few more minutes of your time I am going to let you in on something
I have recently learned!
You have to command respect. And you have to do it far more
often of people who should readily give it to you but far too often do not.
Your friends, and or family, can often be the ones that respect you the least.
I get that the world is crazy and our time is spread thin.
We all suffer from time constraints in some way. But I had to recently learn,
the very hard way, that I was not being respected. At all. And it was by
someone who I loved dearly. I still love her but I had to walk away from a
friendship more than a decade long. I couldn’t allow myself to be treated so
badly. I was investing time in a friendship that was not being returned and to
be honest…it hadn’t been returned, or returned well, in several years.
But I didn’t respect myself enough to walk away. I kept
allowing excuses like: “I’m such a
horrible friend”, or the popular, “I
suck” to reel me back. It. HURT.
It hurt a LOT. I would call and there would be no return
call. (I can call my insurance company and at least they return a call. )
I would text. And it would go days before a response. I am
bothered by the no return call but it isn’t as bad as the not replying to a
text! Come on…wtf…a text can be read or sent any time of the day!
So I sat down with myself, talked to my sister and realized
that respect was missing from my life. Sasha brought up the fact that I,
generally, take quite a long time before someone runs out of chances with me.
And she is right. I tend to give people I like quite a lot of leeway. But I’m
too old to keep doing that. Some things have to be nipped and not receiving
respect is the big one that I am no longer ignoring.
I was not being respected and I was not respecting myself
enough to walk away.
And so, with a heavy heart and an equally heavy soul, I
walked away. I didn’t try one final outreach. I didn’t try one final text. I
didn’t try one final message. I just walked away.
It was one of the
hardest things I have ever done in my life. It hurt.
And then I realized things really hadn’t changed much
because I had been disrespected for so long that the silence meant nothing.
Somewhere along the line I had become a last resort of sorts. I was only needed
on this person’s time and never on mine. I would get the call and/or text when
she needed to talk about something. The only time I was outreached OTHER than
that was if she thought there was something wrong in my life like marital
problems etc.
Do you know what the real problem was? Respect.
Ask me if I miss her. Yes.
Ask me if I want things back like they were. NO! I can’t and
I won’t.
The excuses and the passive aggressive statements? Nah…I’m
good.
Let me give YOU some advice. Respect yourself. Respect
others. Treat your friends like they matter.
If someone takes the time to call you then you should CALL
THEM BACK.
Do not be a douche bag and do NOT ever use the excuse, “I’m
a horrible friend/person” because you know what? If you do that then it is a
self fulfilling prophecy.
The moral of this story is to wear respect each and every
day. Remember that politeness, charm and respect are all wonderful accessories that
make you stand out among the crowd. Wear them proudly!
