Tao of Té - 38 Ideas - Installment 2

Tao of Té - 38 Things Installment 2

 

I'm back my honey bears with 10 more ideas I have learned over the past 38 years. Yesterday was a phooey kind of day but I bounced back. Now something I want to clarify is that these are my ideas. They might not be even remotely on your list but I do recommend making a list. In fact I'm a huge fan of any list. I have notebooks filled with lists for every single occasion I can possibly make a list for. So without further ado…here are ten more wistful observations.

 

11) Change is a part of life. Roll with the punches

                Man life can be a gigantic dick. It can screw you over big time. Change is something that comes though and it is one of the hardest things I have ever learned to cope with. I'm a "box" kinda gal. I put people into rigid roles because I like order. And I used to have a very hard time changing those parameters. It has caused me great distress in the past. Don't let it be a burden to you. Be flexible and embrace change.

 

12) Like attracts Like

                You only get out of life what you put into it. You want happy people around you…then be happy. Pretty simple. Now all people get down sometimes and that is okay. Cry, wail and gnash your teeth. You deserve every emotion you want to have. My only exception would be hate. Hate is a worthless emotion and you, and myself, are better than that.

 

13) Love with reservations.

                The heart is amazing in its ability to love. As long as you keep loving, it keep growing. You'll get hurt. You will hurt someone else. But take it on the chin and don’t make the rest of humanity pay for a momentary mistake. I promise that you will love again. I don't know when. I'm not really adept at predicting the future. I just know that love can be found in the most unlikely of places and it doesn't have to be romantic. So keep that heart open. Pain will happen regardless. Love makes it worth it.

 

14) Find your theme song for life

                I have this incredible connection to music that came from my parents. I often remember memories based on songs. Find your theme song and change that playlist often. Music is the melody to which our soul dances.

15) It is OK to not know the answers.

                I'm turning 38 and while I have accumulated a wealth of information in my life, I often say "I don't know." You can bullshit an answer left and right. You may get it right. But if you don’t know the answer it is okay to admit it. And this applies to the direction of your life as well. So what if you don't have a 5 or 10 year plan. Let it come when it comes.

 

16) Say what you mean.

                Games come in boxes. Leave them there. Don't say "Yes" to something that you intensely want to say, "No" to. I've done it so many times in my life. I caved and did something I didn't want to do. I would rather someone tell me a firm "No" then a hedged "maybe" or a lie of "Yes" it just doesn't do the soul justice. People aren't mind readers regardless of what someone claims. I don't get implied meanings or statements. If you tell me everything is alright then I take it as that after I've asked 3 times. After the 3 times you forgo any right to bitch later.

 

17) Disliking or Hating Another

                Just don't. Even if it is an Ex that has done you horribly wrong. Anger is like throwing a hot stone. You get burned first. You disliking someone, or even hating them, accomplishes absolutely nothing. Even pretending to concentrate really hard to explode their minds does nothing but make you feel a tiny bit vindicated. Hating someone is a waste of time and productivity. Now don't get me wrong. If a certain person popped back in my life and said something to me….it would be on but that's because she is the epitome of evil. See…I almost wrecked myself. My saying that did nothing to her. It doesn't faze anyone to hate them.

 

18) Your friends are a reflection of yourself

                This is one of those "like attracts like" things but I wanted to make it again. If I am a reflection of my friends…I'm pretty fucking lucky and I'm pretty damn talented, smart and beautiful. From my most recent friends to my oldest friends. Through my friends I am invincible.

 

19) Cultivate your relationships

                You only get as much out of a relationship as you put into it. This applies to your romantic partner as well as your friends. Lately I haven't been such a great cultivator because I'm a self-absorbed asshole and I've just been in a funk. Luckily I have fantastic friends that understand and just let me alone. I do try to keep them in my thoughts and have a list to start checking off starting with checking in and seeing how everyone else is doing. The point is that you have to work at friendships and relationships constantly. It is your garden of life. Now don't be a hoe! Ha!

 

20) Anger towards a friend or loved one

                You have to options here: tell them or get over it. It is that simple. If your friend/loved one pisses you off enough that you think you need to air it out in order to get over it…then air it out. Don't make some passive aggressive bullshit post that leaves everyone wondering and asking what is going on. You can employ tagging. You can employ text messaging . You can do a face to face over coffee or you can call. My sister and I used to do this famously. We would bottle up every bitchy thing until it finally exploded into this mess that nothing got resolved. Then we would be pissed at each other for weeks, or even months. It even got as bad as not talking to each other for a long time and then only civilly. I don't do this anymore because it is pointless. If I find myself mad at a person constantly then I need to reevaluate their position in my life. I'm not saying go through and toss everyone that makes you mad. I am saying that you don't need to be a pansy and just sit back and let it stack up. Say something. BUT…say it diplomatically for those that have a temper. I know I can tell my best friend anything. Now she has a hellacious temper but if I explain myself she usually only gets mad at me for a few hours vs days/weeks. I'm the same way. If I piss you off then simply tell me. It might simply be a miscommunication.

 

So there you go. 10 additional ideas to keep in mind. Stay tuned for our next thrilling installment tomorrow!

Tao of Té - 38 Ideas I have learned in 38 Years - Installment 1

Tao of Té -  38 Ideas I have learned in 38 Years

 

I want you to pay attention to the title of this blog. It isn't "beliefs" it is "ideas" and you might be asking yourself why you should be noticing one single word. The truth is that, to me, beliefs are rigid. They don't change very often and are hard to change at that. An IDEA, though, can be changed when you receive new information or gain a new perspective. Ideas are fluid and for me, the following are simply ideas I have garnered, gathered and come to realize are applicable to me. If you find one that is applicable to you then use it. My thought is that it never hurts to read what another has come to the conclusion of based on life experiences. And these are my experiences and my life is not yours as yours is not mine.

There are several of these but I promise you a surprise at the end if you read through them. J

1) Age isn't just a number.

                Age really isn't THAT big a deal until you no longer have a birthday. I'm sure there are millions of people that have passed the veil that would love nothing more than to have one more birthday. This also applies to people that don't "act" their age. You know what? Don't. Never act a certain way because a number dictates.

 

2) Be Grateful

                Be grateful for the little things in life and be ecstatic for the big things. It really is those little things in life that can make the difference. I'd rather a lifetime of little small things than a few enormous. A life that appreciates the little gestures, moments and things is a life well lived.

 

3) Never forget courtesy and politeness

                We are swiftly becoming a society that no longer views "Ma'am" or "Sir", along with "Thank you" and "You're Welcome," as necessities. They are. I never address an unfamiliar adult with their first name even if it is on a badge or name tag. If I know their last name they get the Ms. or Mr. treatment. If I don't then they get "Ma'am" or "Sir." It really is a showing of respect and courtesy to remember your manners.

 

4) Learn Patience

                This is one that I'm ALWAYS working on. I have very little patience and my husband knows this, bless his little heart. ;) When we are waiting at Winco for the hellacious lines to move along, he will often lean over and say, " Breathe. It is okay. I know the lines are long but they are moving." Most of the time he has hit the nail on the head but here lately I'm okay with simply waiting. Why? Because someone Is waiting on me and if I hate someone pushing me along then I shouldn't do it to others. You will have to cut me  some slack though because this one is a constant work in progress.

 

5) Envy is a TERRIBLE shade of green.

                This one is simple. Don't wear it. We ALL know someone who seems to have it better off than we do. This may be true and they simply blessed. OR, and I'm going with 95% I'm right on this mode, they have a wealth of their own problems and we simply do not see them. Let me give you an example. I had a friend say to me, "Oh my gosh you are so together and lucky. You have already written a book and working on your next one. Most authors take years and years to get to your point." Now let me tell you the truth of the matter. Yes, I have written down one book. I haven't published it. I am looking at MAJOR revamps because I have decided I no longer like it and it isn't written well. This book as consumed hours, days and even weeks of my time. As for having the others lined out…I've been working on this series in my head for more than 15 years. Don't envy me in the least and I'll do my best not to let that hideous shade of green be on me.

6) Learn to Meditate

                Meditation and prayer have a lot of the same things in common. You are in the moment and you are concentrating. Perhaps you are asking for forgiveness. Perhaps you are asking for a favor. Regardless you need to learn to meditate. Why? It makes you focus on your mind, your body and your environment. Don't think it is a pointless exercise where you become the Buddha. It isn't that. It is about finding yourself. OH and it isn't limited to one philosophy or religion. Enjoy!

 

7) Learn something new every single day.

                Simple. Learn a new fact each day and commit it to memory. Unless you have a degenerative brain disease or are missing your hippocampus, you can commit one fact to memory. Here is my latest knowledge fact. I learned more about Mary Queen of Scots. Did you know "God save the Queen!" came about after her beheading? Oh and her dog was hiding in her skirts during and after her execution. Fascinating stuff!

 

8) Laugh at least once a day.

                I'm trying to find the lighter side in life and to do so I find something , or someone, to make me laugh at least once a day. Often it is Dave but occasionally Kennedy and Maesin will whiz a zinger at each other that has me dang near belly rolling. It's good for the soul so keep laughing!

 

9) Say "Sorry" only when you truly are and don't hesitate to say it.

                People know an insincere apology when they hear it so don't let one fall from your lips. If you absolutely MUST issue an apology due to a confrontation, a work snafu etc but you don't feel the least apologetic then apologize for the situation. Don't say you are sorry for what you did or said. Does this make you a gigantic dick if you don't apologize or say sorry? It depends on what you did or said. But know that there is a huge difference between offering up a PR related "apology" and offering a sincere "I'm sorry." You're a big kid. You'll figure it out.

 

10) Learn how to be comfortable with yourself.

                Listen honey bears…if you aren't comfortable with yourself and comfortable being alone then you are most certainly not going to be comfortable by yourself with someone else. Why? Because you don't know yourself. Do you know what makes you tick? Do you know what pisses you off? Do you even know what your strong suits really are? If you don't know the absolute answer to all three questions then you don't know yourself. Am I comfortable with myself? Not all the way but I'm getting there. Yes, I realize I'm in a relationship and I jumped into one before I truly gained a sense of knowledge about myself. However I'm not in a suppressive environment which is a major plus. Dave pretty much has a philosophy that lets people be who they want to be provided they aren't dicks about it, or that they create much noise.

 

So yes, I'm stopping at 10 because I really don't think you want to read all 38 in one sitting. Tomorrow you'll get another 10 and so on and so forth until 38 is reached. As for that surprise I promised you? SURPRISE!!! You get three more installments. Yay you!!