Dear daughters,
Once, long ago, I wrote a letter to you explaining why I was
not your friend. Today I write you as a Mother and a friend. You've both come
so far and have accomplished so many things but those are just the tiniest tip
of the iceberg. Soon you will go onto the next phase of your life. I'll always
be in your life, hopefully, but a lot of what comes next will fall squarely
onto your shoulders.
I'll never stop giving you advice, and you'll take some
hopefully and leave some, and I'll never stop loving you. Even when you make it
difficult, there is nothing you can ever do that would stop that love and the
need to protect you. But now is the time for that protection to step back and
let you live your lives.
You are going to fall.
Life is going to throw a LOT at you and sometimes it is all
at once. Life trips us up. We are power walking down the sidewalk of life and
we hit a bump. We stumble a little bit but keep on going. But there are going
to be times when you hit a hole and you fall down. You are going to fall and at
times it is going to feel as if the world is out to get you, or that you'll
never move past it. You will. It isn't about how many times we fall, instead it
is how many times you stand back up. You may have to stagger to your knees at
first but you will stand. And it is how you stand that will make all of the
difference. Always stand with purpose and integrity. Those are the two things that
come free in life. Use them often. And when you fall and need a helping
hand...I'll be there. I may be screaming from the sidelines but I'll be there.
You are going to Love, Lose, Cry and Hate
Love is a very strange thing and it can make fools of us
all. Don't pattern your love life after mine. I wasn't smart or independent as
much as I should've and that's okay. I'm still a work in progress. The same
thing should apply to you at every stage of your life. Love with all your heart
but know that love can make it fragile. It can crack. It can shatter but it can
always be put back together. Your heart is much like a sword. It has to be
tempered. It will have to be made stronger and you can do it.
You are going to lose people in your life and no matter who
it is, it is going to hurt. Losing people to death is one of the hardest things
to cope with in your life. You're heart doesn't heal from it completely. You
bear that scar for the rest of your life and while the scar sometimes stops
throbbing, it is always there for YOU to see.
You are going to lose friends and significant others. They
are going to come into your life and then leave. It may be a relationship or a
friendship. There is a reason for everyone you let into your life and never be
afraid of letting others in because your heart will always grow large enough to
love them all. But be careful. There are always going to be users in the world
that are not happy unless you are unhappy. Don't let them steal your sunshine
or your thunder. It is okay to hold friend's accountable. At the same time you
need to be a good friend. Being a good friend is hard sometimes because you may
have to say or do something that is unpopular but that's okay. Staying true is
what guides you and is what a healthy friendship/relationship is all about.
When your relationships end, and there are going to be some,
you may experience anger. You may have been done so very wrong. Your heart is
going to hurt. Your brain is going to have you confused and your emotions are
going to veer into the hatred zone. When you find yourself being pulled down
with hatred, I want you to stop. You don't have to hate anyone. If that person ended
your relationship through whatever deeds or words, that is on them. NOT YOU.
You can only control your own actions. Hate is a wasteful emotion and it makes
us unbalanced. Let the anger and hate go.
And we come to the advice portion of this letter. I'm your
mom and I'm now beginning the process of being your friend. And I'll never
stop. I also won't lie to you to spare you being upset with me when I want to
tell you something honestly. Please know that I come from a good place and may
have experience in that area that you have not gained. There are also going to
be many times when you do not want my advice, my advice isn't needed and times
when I don't understand the situation and the advice isn't helpful.
I'll always be your ear though. I'll be here to listen as
you work out problems on your own. I'll be with you in spirit no matter where
you go in life and will always try to be there physically when you need me
most. When you go on to creating your own family, I will still always be your
Mother and will always want a part of your life.
You each have so much ahead of you and will be going places,
doing things and learning things that I have not. With you lies the very best
of me and sometimes the worst. How you live your life is going to be up to you.
Lead the way for others and always be a light that shines through the darkest
times.
Love,
Your Mother.
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