I know I have laxed a bit in the posting but I really didn't feel I had anything important to say. Well...that isn't true. I always think I have important things to say but when I review them...they all come up sounding trite. Blech on all that junk. But I do have something I have been pondering the last few weeks and feel a need to confess: I'm a lurker.
Yes, I am a lurker. I read news stories daily and I always span through the comments. I Google things and I read the reviews. I look through forums for tid bits of information but really there are two areas of the Internet that draw me in. It is comments on news articles/postings and its Craiglist's Rants & Raves.
News articles/postings can sometimes make me shake my head. I've posted things on Facebook before that were purely sarcastic and humorous (at least to me and that's all I fucking worry about) but there have been some commenter's that completely missed it. Now before jumping my shit and arguing please bear in mind that I'm a sarcastic bitch of the 9th degree. I haven't attained level 10 yet but I'm working on it. Some argue that sarcasm is the last bastion of the simple minded in response to a verbal or mental attack. Horseshit! Do you know how hard it is to find the right appropriate sarcastic response to any given situation?? It takes years of dedicated practice, a thorough knowledge of pop culture, memes and other retarded monkey fodder. It takes patience and delivery. Not every comment is sarcastic otherwise you'll have burn out. You have to wait for the right moment and it has to be flawlessly delivered. A cough, sneeze or hiccup can ruin it and leave you looking like a moron. And you have to tailor the intelligence level to the audience. It's hard fucking work.
Now back to what I was blathering about. News articles really have let me down. I realize true journalism is dead. There is NO such thing as an unbiased article...especially on the web. It is not possible. If you can find me ONE completely unbiased article that is factual, not inducing the public to lean any way but to make up their own minds (ha fucking ha) then I'll post a picture of Dave naked in a tutu. (Note: My husband doesn't read my blogs or I'd be center of Hiroshima if he caught wind of this so let's just keep that between you and I. We're all friends here :)) Okay so on second thought no naked pictures of Dave because I value my life and fear reprisal. Instead I'll post a picture of Meeka and Suki reenacting the Lion King.
But regardless of the biased nature of news stories...it is the comments that leave me shaking my head and rejoicing that I sent in my resignation letter to humanity more than five years ago. Being part of talking monkeys is not my idea of impressive and if you read enough news commenter's...you'll join me. Hell we can book a ticket off the planet for the poo slingers. Granted there are some that are logical, polite and grasped the meaning of the article. The other 98% are trolls who invariably get off topic and somehow race, sexual orientation, economics and politics are brought up. It could be an article on slugs invading England and some idiot poo slinger will miss the point of the article.
I went to a very small school but I rejoice every single day for the quality of my education. Yes...my grammar sucks but that is why I have editors. :) They help me all the time. I write and they polish. But my wonderful teachers through elementary and high school taught me how to read something and understand it. My college professors helped that skill along further. Sadly that is a skill that some have not learned.
Now for Craigslist Rants and Raves...that is one jacked up website. I don't care what city you pick it is nothing but trolls of the worst kind. It is either far left or far right politics that are as close to factually based as I am to walking to the moon. That website teaches me that people who hide behind an anonymous posting have no input. Otherwise they would put their name behind it and stand behind their convictions. It also reminds me which people will make my zombie survival team and which ones will be used as cannon fodder/ bait.
The only people I find more detestable are the Internet Grammar Nazi's. Really? I mean REALLY? Does it matter that fucking much if someone used "its" instead of "it's?" That is the one type of person I have to physically restrain myself from punching them in the face. Correcting someone to their face is a bit bolder but it certainly is not safer. If you happen to be a Grammar Nazi do yourself and your face a favor and just don't be a douche bag. It's pretty much on par with reprimanding someone for using the wrong fucking fork. It does not make you look more intelligent but it does help those party invitations from arriving because the reality is no one likes a giant grammar correcting douche.
Okay so there is my rant and rave. There were other things going on in my life the last couple of weeks that could have made the blog (i.e. psycho, meth whore) but that lasted about .02 nano seconds of my time and effort. :)
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